Our Spot

I had a beautiful singing voice, you know. Have I not told you that before? Ee, I can’t believe that. Yes, I know, you’re right! You’d never know it listening to me talking, would ya? But yes, it were lovely. I used to always sing when I was a little girl. Used to drive me mother mental. Course, I smoked it all away with fags but, once upon a time I had what me dad called a voice an angel would be jealous of.

            Strange how time passes, isn’t it? So quickly, like. Feels like just yesterday I was a little girl, getting washed in front of the fire. Mam used to hang my nightdress over the mantelpiece so it was toasty warm. Feels like just yesterday.

            Do you remember how we first met? I knew it, course you don’t, do ya? Cheeky sod. It was Martin’s birthday, remember, Martin from university. His twenty-first I think. You told me I lit up the room. And I fell for it! Oh, you were such a charmer. Do you remember swinging from that bottle of champagne you stole from the tray? Oh, you’re right, probably too far gone by then! You told me you loved me. Can you believe it? I’d known you for all of three hours. But you said it was real love. Those were your words: real, honest love.

            But I suppose things just come to an end eventually, don’t they? What’s her name, you say? Suzanne. Well, I hope she knows what she’s getting herself into, eh? Oh, I’m kidding.

            No, no, I’m fine, pet. Don’t dirty a clean hanky. Just a bit out of the blue really, isn’t it? Forty-one years we’ve been married. But as I say, things have to end sometime. Oh, go on then. I’ll take the hanky. Look at me, blubbering away.

            Bit nippy out here, isn’t it? Suppose it’s too late for it to be that warm. I always loved the view from this bench. It was always our spot, wasn’t it? Just us watching the sunrise. The golden years, I suppose. No, love. You keep yer jacket, I’ll manage.

            Sorry for the way I reacted before. I didn’t mean it. You’re not happy so... and I want you to be happy. I really do. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, because, you know, no, no, let me finish. You really have been the love of my life.

            Oh, please don’t leave me, love. Please. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you. I need you, love. I’ll be better, I will. I promise. We can get through this. Please just don’t leave me alone.

            Oh, I’m sorry, love. I’m just, just trying to process it that’s all. Oh, god. There goes me mascara down me face. Panda eyes. I’m sorry for what I did. I really am.

            I wanted to be a jazz singer, you know. I can’t believe I never told you this. I wanted to be a singer in one of those fancy jazz bars. You know, with the microphone in the stand and the spotlight and the red curtain all sultry, like. I had this image of meself singing and then everyone would stand up and clap for me. Silly thoughts, really. You make all these plans, don’t ya, and then time just slips away.

            Don’t go love, eh. Not yet. Just stay with me ‘til the sun goes down.